All is not what it seems
by Brinosaur
Summary: Merlin is the new kid at Camelot Sixth Form, upon meeting Arthur Pendragon he assumes he is some stuck up rich boy who refuses to talk to the poor looking kid, but how wrong is he? Read to find out. (I do not own Merlin all rights belong to BBC)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N. I know some of you will have read this before and those of you that have followed this story I am sorry it hasn't being updated in so long. I am currently going through and editing chapters and then will be reposting them. Meaning all of the current chapters will be taken down. it may take me some time to get them back up as my exams start in two weeks time but after that I have three months off so hopefully it will be finished soon! Sorry to those that thought this was an actual update/new chapter I am aware of how frustrating that can be. **

Chapter 1

"Yes Father" Arthur mumbled, eyes trained on the floor. Uther nodded "In the future I shouldn't have to ask Arthur I expect you to just listen to me and do as you are told, as any good son would" disappointment was clear in his voice. "Yes father" Arthur mumbled again.

"Now leave me". Arthur shuffled towards the door then into the hallway as it clicked shut behind him, his strides lengthened and his footfalls got louder as he ran through the house towards his bedroom. He hated the disappointment in his father's voice, why hadn't he tried harder to gain his approval? As Arthur reached his bedroom door he forcefully pushed it open before flinging himself onto the bed, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes as he did so.

Arthur's home life was not like the majority of people's, firstly he was both emotionally and physically abused by his father as well as not being able to make his own choices in life but having them made for him by said abusive, overbearing father. He had next to no friends inside and outside of school, one of his only friends was Leon who he had known since he was a young boy, you would think he had more friends considering he was part of his local football team however none of them seemed to want to associate with the weird, lonely Pendragon kid. He often sat alone at lunch, if Leon sat with his other friends. His sister Morgana had moved away when she found out that Igraine (Arthur's mother) wasn't her mother and she was a mistake come about by Uther's affair. She went to live with her other half sibling Morgause and barely spoke to Arthur; though sometimes she did come down and see him.

Arthur's P.O.V

I woke up to my alarm clock blaring at me, it was 6:30 in the morning - too early to be getting up for any sane person. As I pushed myself out of bed I realised that I was still in the clothes I had worn for sixth form yesterday and was not even in the covers. Then I remembered my lovely conversation with my dad the night before and the events that occurred after it. I stumbled over to the bathroom and dragged myself into the shower, as I did this I contemplated on how lonely my life would be today, the only person that ever talked to me in school was Leon and he had other friends to socialise with never mind little old Arthur. Stepping out of the shower I began to get changed before descending the stairs and heading toward the kitchen for breakfast. I realised that I had spent a lot longer in the shower than I had originally thought and would have no time to eat. So I grabbed my bag and legged it out of the front door, not even bothering to shout bye to dad; which was sure to have consequences later tonight.

Looking at my timetable as I walked through the sixth form gates, I realised I had a free and nearly kicked myself for being stupid, now I had had no breakfast for no reason and was likely to get a speech on being a disappointment or get a couple of hits to various parts of my body for not saying goodbye and not being a respectful son. Though to be fair I completely deserve this, I put him through so much pain because I'm not good enough: I embarrass him by saying stupid things infront of his business associates, I'm no good at school and my grades are just a disappointment and I let Morgana get away from him.

As I had nowhere to go for 50 minutes I headed towards the library in hope of some solitude; I may complain about having no-one to talk to for the majority of the time but for mornings like this it was something I definitely needed. I worked my way to the back of the library, my usual spot, in the hopes that no-one would be sat there and that I could at least try and practice some of the topics for the business test I had next. Luckily, when I got there, there was no-one to be seen, I sat down and pulled the needed books out of my bag. I opened the one on the top of the small pile and gave up hope as soon as looked at the words on the page, there was no way I was going to pass this test which meant more trouble for me at home and another disappointing result that my dad would have to suffer through. I had a good half an hour of silence before a boy I had never seen before popped up from behind one of the bookshelves. He noticed me and sent a friendly grin in my direction, "Hi my names Merlin" he announced with an outstretched hand, I didn't take it as what was the point? He was only another person for me to disappoint and push away.

Merlin's P.O.V

I stood there with my hand out in an obvious gesture to shake it, but the blonde before me ignored it. Fine I thought don't bother socialising with the new kid that has slightly scratty clothes you posh git. I stood there a few moments longer before turning on my heel and walking away; if he didn't want to talk I saw no point in staying. I headed towards the front of the library to check out my new book on modern art, as this is what I previously chose to study before having to swap sixth forms due to moving halfway across the country. As I left I bumped into a guy my age with shoulder length dark brown hair that had a natural wave to it, which sent me flying to the floor knocking the book out of my hands once I hit the faded carpet. A callused hand appeared in my vision and I realised it was the guy offering me a hand up, I grabbed it gratefully and locked eyes with him "Thanks I didn't see you, sorry for crashing into you like that" he just chuckled a grin covering his lips "No problem, the names Gwaine, and you are?" I light blush came across my cheeks as I realised I had yet to introduce myself "Oh it's Merlin" after hearing my name Gwaine gave another chuckle. "What?" I questioned rather annoyed that he found my name so funny, I mean yeah it is the name of an ancient sorcerer but that doesn't mean he should laugh about it. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that it's just there seems to be tons of us here with names from Arthurian Legend. Now we have a Merlin to add to the mix, got pretty much the whole set" At this I had to let out a laugh, how could one sixth form end up with so many children with Arthurian names? "Where are you off now then?" Gwaine questioned, I looked down at my timetable which was clutched in my left hand and read out "Art in Room 176"

"Ah no help there then sorry I am off in the opposite direction Chemistry awaits me, but you can meet us at lunch if you're not meeting anyone else?" I nodded in reply and we set off in different directions down the corridor. I met a couple more people in art and then some more in creative writing after that; however I met no more of Gwaine's friends which had Arthurian names. I was looking forward to lunch I had half expected to end up sitting on my own but thanks to my run in with Gwaine this morning that was no longer a problem.

As the bell for lunch rang I made my way towards the dining hall, of course being in sixth form you had the option to eat out and go into the city of Camelot however that was the more expensive choice and I couldn't afford that so I really hoped that Gwaine and his friends stayed in at lunch or at least some of them did. "Merlin over here" Gwaine was shouting from across the other side of the hall he was stood with a small group of people, who I assumed were the people he was talking about earlier. Some of them looked up at him in confusion whereas others just muttered under their breath. This made me think he most likely hadn't told them that I was coming to sit with them, which made me slightly nervous what if they didn't want me sitting with them? I slowly made my way over to them, nerves coiling in my gut. "Hey" Gwaine shouted as he slung one of his arms around my shoulders, my knees buckled slightly under the pressure, what I'm weak! "Guys, this is Merlin", at this the entire group smiled and some broke into small chuckles, presumably because I fit the Arthurian name thing they had going on. Gwaine went around the small group giving out introductions there was a girl with long curly brown hair named Gwen, a tall, broad guy called Percival, a skinny lad similar to myself named Mordred as well as Lancelot and Elyan. "Hi" I said as I raised my hand in a small, shy wave. They all grinned back some muttering their own greetings. They turned and headed towards the lunch hall, which I was grateful for I wouldn't need to spend extra money. "So" I started as we sat down "no King Arthur in this group?" Awkward glances were passed around the table and I wondered just what I had said wrong. Gwen began to explain "Well there is an Arthur in the school even has the same last name as the King, Pendragon. However he doesn't hang around with us". I wondered who this guy was did he not get along with them? As if I had spoken out loud my question was answered "There he is" supplied Gwaine while discreetly pointing at the blonde boy I had seen in the library earlier. He was talking to a curly haired boy of a similar height and build to Gwaine "Oh and that is Leon" Gwen added talking about the boy that Arthur was talking to. The fact that Arthur was talking to him and refused to talk to me earlier cemented my idea that he just wouldn't talk to me because of my clothes; so what if I was poorer than him, why should it matter? I decided I didn't like Arthur Pendragon right there and then.

Arthur's P.O.V

I looked over towards the table in the middle of the hall which was full with people, including the boy who had offered me his hand this morning. He appeared to be glaring at me, I couldn't understand what I had done to piss him off so much, pretty much everyone in my year, no in fact the whole sixth form knows I barely speak to anyone but Leon and the teachers. I turned to Leon and realised he had been speaking the whole time I had been thinking. Sheepishly I rubbed the back of my neck while saying "Sorry, I missed that". He looked over at me and gave me a small smile "Hey its fine it didn't matter that much anyway". I gave a small smile in return before sitting down to eat my lunch, vaguely aware of the pair of blue eyes that flicked over to where I was sitting every couple of seconds.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Arthur's P.O.V

Most people in my school believe I am just quiet and that is the reason I won't talk to them, no one really knows the real reason I don't talk, not even Leon or my own sister. If I talk to someone I may become friends with them and if I do that I am sure I will just let them down. I would just be a disappointment to them like I am to my dad and my sister. What sort of son doesn't do as his dad says? What sort of son disrespects his father? What sort of brother takes their dad's side w hile actually believing your sister is right? I am a terrible person who just lets the people around me down and I have no point being in their lives. This is why I stay away from people; well apart from Leon but he kind of insisted I stop being stupid and that he wasn't going to leave me. The new kid (because apparently Merlin is new) seemed to always be looking at me, or well glaring. I couldn't really understand why he didn't like me, I mean yeah I had refused to shake his hand but I don't like meeting new people as they're only someone else to disappoint. He was sure to learn I don't talk to anyone at some point, hopefully that would make the glares stop. I hoped he wouldn't take it too badly, but apparently that didn't work out the way I wanted it to. Though it just goes to show that I can disappoint people even when I don't really know them, even my first impression is bad enough that it cause glares to be thrown my way at every opportunity. Maybe it's a good thing - it should keep people away leaving me to my own devices.

After spending two periods in the library studying I left school though as I was walking out of the school gates I saw a sight that I hoped I would not have to see for at least another three hours, my father. I had hoped he may have let me not saying goodbye slide, obviously not which means I am in big trouble. Big trouble meant lots of pain, lots and lots of pain – why do I have to be such a bad son. I looked around for an escape but lean had left at the end of period 5 and no one else speaks to me so my efforts were fruitless. Cautiously, I made my way towards the car I could see the fury on my father's face before I even got within reach of the car. I knew he wouldn't do anything where there was a risk of other people seeing us; he wouldn't want me to tarnish his reputation in any more ways.

"Arthur" he grimaced as I got in, the grimace showing me that good things would not be coming my way tonight. "Yes father?" I mumble, which once again caused a grimace to stretch across his features. "Speak up" he snapped, father despised mumbling. So for the second time I said "yes father?" though this time it was louder, loud enough to please father, though only for a minute. "I am very disappointed with you Arthur" wow how different to your normal feelings towards me I thought, though I didn't dare voice this aloud. "This morning you ran out of the house without saying goodbye to me, what sort of respectful son does that? That's right none - you are so disrespectful Arthur, I should be respected by you at all times"

"I'm sorry Father, I'll try harder"

"Yes you should be sorry however sorry doesn't cut it does it Arthur? After tonight you won't have to try harder you _will _respect me at all times"

"Yes father" I replied glumly with fear lacing my voice, I was not looking forward to tonight in any way shape or form. I had received previous reprimands for not being respectful and knew this would be similar if not worse. "Now would you like to tell me why you left without saying anything this morning?" This si the part I had dreaded the most, the explanation. Even to me it seemed stupid who doesn't check their timetable before leaving the house in a rush thinking they're late? Gulping I began to stutter out my answer "I got up a-and spent longer in the shower than I th-thought and" I heard a small grunt of disapproval at this point "and realised how l-late I was so I r-ran right out of the do-doo- out of the house think-thinking I was late - "

"Thinking you were late?" Crap, I was hoping he would ignore that small fact.

"Well… when I got to school I realised I had a… free first period" A glower worked its way onto my father's face. "Well you should know better than that shouldn't you Arthur?" I nodded and looked down at my feet, I would rather he scream at me that make half-hearted comments with that disappointed tone.

We pulled into the driveway and the first and only thing father said to me was "Get out and go to your room Arthur", this solidified the feeling I would be getting punishment tonight and wouldn't be getting any tea or company before that. Two hours later my father appeared in my room a thick, black leather belt coiled around his right hand. I gulped in fear before remembering he could have picked a much worse punishment than the belt so I let out a sigh of relief. It may seem odd but I could tell just from the way he was holding it that he would not be using the buckle end on my back but the thin strap of leather. As he approached my bed I let out a small whimper, the leather may not be as bad as the brass buckle but it still hurt like hell. Unluckily for me he heard the sound and as fast as a lightning strike the belt had been unleashed from his hand and had landed like a snake strike across the top of my back. I held back the scream I wanted to let loose as I knew that the hits would only get stronger if I showed him weakness as I am meant to be quiet and take my punishments like a man. "Well done Arthur" he praised as I held back the sounds I so desperately wanted to let loose. Despite the situation I couldn't help but preen under his praise it was so rare and at moments like these he seemed to hand it to me on a silver platter and I did nothing but greedily take it. He tapped my back as a sign to take off my shirt however I was still recovering from my moment of glee as he praised me (as like I said he barely ever compliments me) so it took me a while to respond. Though I did eventually drag the thin cotton over my head and off of my body. I quickly forgot all about the praise as the belt began to rain down on my back again, hit after hit leaving stinging pains running in haphazard lines across the surface of my skin. After the torment had finished he sat beside me on the bed and stroked my hair, these were the moments I loved most even after all the pain he had caused me and I him he would sit next to me and calm me through my sobs. "Do you know why you were punished Arthur?" he asked in a soft voice his hand still running through my hair. I nodded slowly before answering "I disrespected you by not saying goodbye" a sob escaped from my throat "and for being stupid enough not to look at my timetable before leaving". He removed his hand form my hair before giving a curt nod and leaving the room. I curled up into myself and sobbed into my chest, my back hurt like hell and father had just left me in my vulnerable state – never mind how much I deserved the punishment.

When I woke up in the morning I was once again in the clothes I had worn the day before with my back stinging like hell still. I did _not _want to go into sixth form today but I knew that wasn't an option it would just end up in a worse punishment. Wearily, I dragged myself out of bed I checked my timetable before getting into the shower I did not want to repeat yesterday's mistake. I had law first period so jumped in the shower and spent as little time in there as possible. Once I was dressed I went downstairs to get breakfast and say goodbye to father. Not that there was much point he barely acknowledged me when I stuck my head into his office to tell him I was leaving. I really hope today goes better than yesterday I thought as I walked through the gates to college.

Merlin's P.O.V

As I was walking into sixth form I saw that prat Arthur out of the corner of my eye. He still wouldn't look me in the eye never mind talk to me, Leon was the only person I had ever seen him talk to still. Obviously, in Arthur's eyes no one else was deemed good enough to talk to. I had been at Camelot Sixth Form for just over two months and I still hadn't figured out why the pompous brat wouldn't talk to anyone but Leon. He was an enigma he must have a bigger reason than people being poor then not to talk to them, but what was it? None of my friends ever mentioned Arthur but surely they knew something because they had known him for years. I had decided that today would be the day that I would try and find out what everyone else knew as there was no way I would work it out on my own. I thought lunch would be the best time to ask as then they were all together and I wouldn't have to ask them individually.

"Guys do any of you know why Arthur keeps to himself so much, why he doesn't talk to anyone?" Furtive glance were passed between my friends as the glances around and many of them were directly aimed at Leon. Ah Leon surely he must know? He spends so much time with Arthur he has to know what is going on with him. "I think it's because Princess" Princess? I had never hear Arthur referred to in that way. "Is hiding a big secret that he doesn't want anyone to know so he doesn't talk to anyone" as soon as Gwaine was finished several people scoffed and Leon went as far to swat the back of his head while rolling his eyes, obviously Gwaine's theory was not well liked and far from the truth. "I think it is to do with his father" Gwen piped up, I sent her a questioning look but it was Leon that answered my unspoken question. He turned to me before stating "Arthur's dad is the owner of Camelot Industries he most likely pressures Arthur into following in his footsteps, probably pressures him that much that he does nothing but focus on his lessons – no time for friends" due to the thickness of Leon's voice I knew there was more to what he was saying but Leon didn't want to out Arthur in anyway so I left it alone. What I didn't know back then was that not even Leon knew everything that was going on with Arthur.

Over the remainder of the term I watched Arthur and tried to figure him out yet he remained an enigma. I honestly couldn't understand why he avoided talking to people so much he actually seemed like he was quite a nice person once you got past the prattish exterior. Surely if he spoke to people he would become friends with them and he would no longer have to be alone and I'm sure he would still be able to follow in daddy's footsteps. Towards the end of the year after I had completed my as levels I was hanging around in the art rooms getting my project finished before it needed to be sent off. I was alone, or so I thought after an hour or so I heard rattling in the room next to me. Popping my head round the door I was shocked at what I found in the other room. Arthur was sat there with a paintbrush in hand delicately adding colour to the canvas in front of him. I couldn't believe my eyes; before me was one of the most beautiful paintings I had ever seen yet at the same time infuriatingly confusing just like its painter. A dense ball of blacks, greys and whites was curled up in the middle splats flying off it into the spirals of colours that it was surrounded by, As though it was trying to break free of the dark and embrace itself in the world of colour. Is this how Arthur felt? Did he feel as though he was separate to the rest of the world was he struggling to become a part of it?

I hadn't realised that I had been moving further into the room until I tripped over a chair leg and nearly landed flat on my face. Just before I could nose dive into the floor strong arms wrapped around my waist and heaved me back up. "Are you okay?" Arthur said in a small voice I nodded shakily before prying myself out of his grip, still shocked that he had even caught me. I manoeuvred around his wide frame and came to a stop in front of his painting. I looked back at Arthur his arms were wrapped around himself and he wouldn't meet my eyes but glanced shyly down at the floor. The longer I stared at him the more uncomfortable he got and eventually one of his hands moved from his waist to rub at the back of his neck, I had seen him do this often and it had just occurred to me that this was probably his nervous habit. I turned away "I really love this painting Arthur"

"Thanks" was his meek reply.

"The way the darker colours are trying to escape into the colour yet held back by an unseen force. It's powerful. I didn't think you took art Arthur"

"Thanks Merlin and no I didn't" Arthur's hand had returned to the back of his head.

"Why not?" I was curious Arthur had real potential for the subject. He just shrugged and turned away from me. "Hey Arthur" he turned back and looked at me and his bright blue eyes met mine for the first time since I had met him, a small shiver ran down mine my spine as I realised just how beautiful his eyes were. "Do you want to sit with us at lunch; I mean Leon does so you could always join him you don't have to sit on your own" I realised I was starting to ramble due to my nerves. What happened next really surprised me, Arthur let out a small laugh before pushing his straw coloured hair out of his eyes and giving me a shy nod. I smiled, I really hadn't expected him to accept he seems to enjoy being alone.

Arthur's P.O.V

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! Why did I agree? Everyone is going to be looking at me, wondering why I decided to show up and sit with them. Leon will pester me for weeks until he finds out why I decided to sit with them when Merlin asks and not one of the many times he's asked me to sit with them. Slowly I entered the lunch hall fighting the urge to turn and run as soon as I spotted Leon and Merlin's mutual group of friends but no Merlin. This made me even more apprehensive. I headed over their direction after picking up my lunch and sat myself next to Leon. Leon turned to look at me with his mouth open slightly I reached out towards him and tapped his chin up "You're catching flies" I mumbled, he shook his head and gave me a face splitting grin while the others still looked on in shock. The longer they looked at me the longer I wondered why they were still looking I had been sat here for over five minutes surely the shock should be starting to wear off. Then I realised that they had never heard me speak. Luckily Merlin arrived "Hey everyone, oh hey Arthur I didn't know whether you would show up" which meant the shocked gazes turned to him instead obviously he hadn't told them that I would be joining them. "Hey" I mumbled while giving a shy wave, I knew doing this was a bad idea, everyone was going to be looking at me and trying to get me to talk to them. Gwaine seemed to get over his shock first and near enough shouted "Now that princess here-" Princess? "Has joined us our round table is complete". The group grinned and broke out in smiles and laughter and then began to converse between themselves. Every now and then someone would try and engage me in their conversations but I would only reply when Leon spoke to me and even then it was still quiet and hesitant. I may as well not reply and disappoint them now instead of becoming friends with them and letting them down and causing them pain later on. Eventually, they gave up on trying to include me and just left me to my own devices and I only conversed with Leon. When Leon had finished eating he grabbed my hand and pulled me up with him he grabbed the remainder of my lunch and then dragged me out of the lunch hall. Just as we passed through the doorway I turned back to look at the table no one had noticed our departure – just like it should be.

A/N Hey guys I am updating slowly however I finish my exams in two weeks and will be off school so I should have more time to update and edit this. Thanks for being so patient with me.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Leon's P.O.V

I could not believe my eyes when Arthur sat down next to me at lunch, normally I would expect this but I was sat with other people which normally repelled Arthur instantly. From the look on everyone else's faces none of them were expecting Arthur either that was until Merlin walked over and shot him a smile before saying he didn't know whether Arthur would show up. I was still reeling from the fact that Arthur had accepted Merlin's offer (despite my previous attempts) when the real Arthur Pendragon shined through. He tapped my mouth closed and cracked a joke about catching flies and I couldn't be happier. I had seen this side of Arthur many times though only for a couple of minutes throughout a week but I had never seen it in front of other people that Arthur had barely ever spoken to. The real Arthur Pendragon is loud and a right joker but no one ever gets to see it. If I had to bet on it I would say that Uther is the reason that this side of Arthur is never seen. I know for a fact that Uther picked Arthur's GCSE's and A-levels for him without even taking Arthur's opinion into consideration. Arthur would definitely have taken art and he would have taken geography and English too. I'm positive that out of the four options his father chose Arthur only showed real interest in German as he loved foreign languages. Now the subjects that Arthur wanted to take have become his escape from reality, his painting a way to show his feelings yet, at the same time, escape from the world. I only know this because I once found him in the art rooms after school, tears running down his face as he allowed the paintbrush to layer paint onto the canvas. Despite the tears and the pain on his face it was the happiest I had ever seen Arthur.

"How come after all my efforts you decided to sit with us as soon as Merlin asked, huh?" This was my first question and Arthur could be sure that many would follow it.

Arthur's P.O.V

As Leon dragged me out of the lunch hall I couldn't help but think that I was about to undergo a thorough questioning about my choice of seat. As I turned to look to him I saw his mouth had begun to fall open proving me right. Question after question was fired my way leaving me barely enough time to answer them, not that I wanted to. I know Leon is just worried about me but sometimes I really wish he would just lay off me. The way he acts you would think I had two older siblings not one, not only does he question everything I do but he is unbelievably protective of me and he doesn't hesitate to get in touch with Morgana. I really hope he doesn't this time as Morgana could also be mistreated by father if she returned home and I really don't want that to happen to her. Morgana deserves better after all she has been through, after Uther lying to her for the whole of my life.

After Leon had fired off all of his questions he returned to the one he had started with "How come after all my efforts you decided to sit with us as soon as Merlin asked? Arthur give me an answer, please!" I looked down at my feet as the guilt welled up inside me, Leon had been asking me to sit with him and his friends since year 10 and I had always turned him down. I wasn't entirely sure myself why I had accepted Merlin's offer though I assume it was mostly down to the fact that he asked me straight after complimenting my art work so I was feeling extremely happy for once. I didn't voice my thoughts to Leon but just looked at him through my fringe and shrugged my shoulders before looking back down at the floor. "Okay Arthur no need to tell me I'm just glad you're beginning to open up to other people" Leon slung an arm across my shoulder before pushing the remainder of my lunch into my hands. He stood with me until I finished eating and then we parted ways to go to our next lessons.

Well lessons in Leon's case I had no lessons in the afternoon so I started to make my way home. When I arrived I saw that father's car was out meaning he was still at work I couldn't help letting out a sigh of relief. I wouldn't have to deal with him for a couple more hours at least. Deciding to do my homework that was set in law, before father could complain that I wasn't trying hard enough, I entered my room and resigned myself to my fate. Ten minutes later the front door opened, surely father wasn't home this early? "Arthur" oh great he his home, I quickly got up and ran out of my room to go and greet him before disastrous consequences occurred. Not only would he be mad of I didn't greet him but by the way I was already being shouted for suggested I was in deep shit. I wracked my memory trying to remember if I had done something wrong or that would have upset father over the last couple of days. As I walked into the hallway I straightened my posture, so as not to anger father further. "Hello father, how was work?" The polite approach was always best with my father, politeness showed respect and he should be respected at all times, well according to him anyway. I wasn't really listening when he gave me the 'you should always respect me' spiel but IO knew that if I didn't it would end in punishment for me. "Fine" was his terse reply, obviously I was in really deep trouble I couldn't help but cower slightly at the thought. "Would you care to explain this?" A slightly crumpled piece of paper was being held in front of my face. I took the paper from him before scanning the sheet. It was a printed out email of my current grades, it was two months into the year why were they sending out grade she- crap they only send them out if the student is failing.

As I read further down the page I saw that my suspicions were true – I was failing. I knew I had been doing bad in my subjects but I honestly thought I was doing better than this. German was the only subject I was doing any good in as it is the only subject that I like. In law and business I was getting C's and I was doing even worse in politics, there I was only achieving a D. My father expected A*'s from me at all times though he would tolerate A's if it was strictly necessary but he really couldn't stand anything that was below that. I looked up and met my father's eyes that held pure rage in them before I could formulate my answer past anything comprehensible his hand had come into contact with my cheek, my neck jarred sideways at the force of the blow. I was beyond shocked he never went for my face as it was more likely to be seen by someone and that would raise unwanted questions. "No time for excuses Arthur, you should have tried harder from the start shouldn't you?"

"Yes Father" I replied, meekly.

"Now get out of my sight I don't want to see you again until you decide to stop being a disappointment", he stormed past me and strode into his study leaving me standing in the hallway holding the reason for my latest bout of abuse. I turned on my heel and ran back up the stairs to my room, why do I have to be such a disappointment? I ran to my desk and grabbed the law homework that I had being working on. In my anger I ripped it up and flung it onto the floor before storming into the bathroom. Ripping open the drawer next to the sink I pulled out the thin piece of metal that was my second relief. Sometimes painting wasn't enough to make me forget the sins I had committed. I killed my mother, I let Morgana leave and I let father down at every turn, why couldn't I be normal like everyone else? I gripped the edge of the sink and took deep breaths to try and calm myself down I could feel a panic attack coming on as the room started to spin around me.

I sunk to the floor in an effort to stop the room spinning and clutched my head in my hands. Slowly I gripped the blade between my fingers and brought it up to my left wrist. I drew several lines on my arm that criss crossed and made dazzling bloody patterns across my wrists, I was tempted to add swirls to the fray to help create a bloody masterpiece but stopped myself as I noticed to the room returning to normal as well as my breathing. Once I had come back to my sense I grabbed the first aid kit that was in the same draw as the blade and cleaned and wrapped my wounds to hide them from view hoping that my dad or Leon wouldn't see them. I had always promised myself that I wouldn't cut as I didn't deserve to relieve myself from the pain but now I couldn't understand why I had never done it before. It may have got rid of the pain that I deserved but it allowed me to inflict pain upon myself that I also deserved, pain for relieving what my father had done and the pain of my skin slicing open under the knowledge of my sins. I walked back into my room and lay down on my bed in a daze; father wouldn't want to see my face at the dinner table anyway.

Merlin's P.O.V

I was beginning to worry about Arthur, just three days ago he was beginning to open up to me and even sat with someone other than Leon and now all of a sudden he has clammed up again and won't talk to anyone. He barely even talks to Leon. Since Arthur wouldn't speak to me anymore (not that he spoke to me that often anyway) that Leon might be able to tell me what is up with him. I waited until the end of the day when Leon and I shared an English class so I could talk to him when the halls would be quitter and there was less of a chance that the conversation would be overheard. As the bell rang I followed Leon out of the classroom "Leon" he spun around in confusion before noticing that it was me who was talking to him. "Oh hey Merlin, what's up?"

"I was just worried about Arthur, he's been quieter than normal and I was just wondering if you knew what was wrong with him?" After voicing my worries I looked down feeling slightly stupid, I mean why did I care so much about Arthur? I barely even knew they guy. Leon didn't seem phased at my interest though "So you've realised as well? I honestly don't know what is up with him Merlin I've not seen him this quiet since year 10 so I'm really worried about him as well" He's not been like this since year 10, I wondered what happened then. Before I could ask Leon continued speaking "I tried ringing his sister" Arthur has a sister? "But she has no idea what is wrong with him and refuses to come up unless there's proper proof that something is wrong with him. Try not to worry too much Merlin I'll try and figure it out but I am sure that Arthur will be fine again soon" I nodded at him before thanking him and leaving school, I wasn't completely reassured but it Leon didn't know anything there wasn't much that I could do to help.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Merlin's P.O.V

Over the next month or so I found myself watching Arthur more and more which meant I noticed the changes that occurred much earlier than others. The muscle definition that Arthur previously had had slimmed until there was barely anything left. Arthur's weight had also decreased so that in some places he was only skin and bone, finally, his eyes were constantly red rimmed and sometimes accompanied by dark circles layered with exhaustion. The more I watched Arthur the more worried about him I became, what could be so bad in his life that it brought about these changes? Leon cottoned on to the changes in Arthur as well and discussed with me that he was heavily considering getting in touch with Morgana, Arthur's sister.

The other thing I couldn't wrap my head around is why I was so worried about Arthur. I hadn't even known the guy for a whole year and I obsessed over every slight change that occurred in him. I missed the Arthur I had gotten to know in that room, over that day at lunch. What had caused him to disappear? The shell of the Arthur that I once knew was all that wandered through the school these days and I had no idea how to get the real one back.

Leon's P.O.V

"Morgana?" I really didn't want to contact Morgana ever again in my life; she scares the shit out of me. However I knew if anyone could get through to Arthur and figure out what was wrong with him it would be her. Arthur would open up to Morgana, though it would still take him a long time to do so. "Yes Leon?" was the curt reply, she seemed to be fed up with me already and I had been on the phone to her for less than ten seconds. "I'm really worried about Arthur" she sighed heavily; obviously she still didn't believe me about Arthur. That's the problem with Morgana despite the fact she loved her brother she wouldn't come up to see him unless she was absolutely positive there was a problem. "What is up with him now? Started to listen to dear old daddy and won't speak to you anymore? Or has he become even more stuck up and you can't deal with his attitude?" she sneered.

"No actually" I couldn't stop myself from snapping, did she even care?

"What then?"

"Morgana I'm being completely serious there is something wrong with Arthur" - Insert a scoff and a mumbled "I knew that" here – "He's lost at least 2 stone since I last spoke to you and he gets more exhausted by the day and I'm not the only person that has noticed. Merlin, the new guy, has noticed as well and is just as worried as I am!" My voice had risen to a near shout by the end of my rant; I needed to get my point across so Arthur could get some help. "I'm only ringing you about it because I know that Arthur will eventually listen to you and he will tell you what's wrong whereas with me he insists that there isn't a problem."

"He's fine Leon. Just spoilt little rich boy troubles give him some room and he'll get over himself, well maybe" Her cackle of a laugh was the last thing that I heard before the dull resounding beep of the dial tone filled my ears. I slammed the phone down on the counter and stormed out of my house, I would try once again to try and find out what is wrong with Arthur myself.

Arthur's P.O.V

"Arthur" was that father? He didn't want to see me until I stopped being a disappointment and I sure as hell am one still, so why is he shouting me? I left my room as quickly as possible and wound my way through the house to where my father's voice was coming from. As soon as I found him I realised I was still a disappointment to him, Leon was here so father had to keep up the act of loving his perfect son. "Hey dad, hey Leon" I greeted them both in turn with a large smile on my face, for if I looked even the slightest bit upset father was sure to punish me for it later. Leon shot me a shocked and confused look; he hadn't heard me that happy in weeks. What Leon didn't know was that it was all an act for father and that I felt even worse than I had looked for the last couple of weeks. Father left the room leaving me alone in the hallway with a very confused Leon. I led Leon up the stairs and into my room, expected the silence to be broken at any second with one of his many questions; however it was a good ten minutes before either of us spoke. As Leon's mouth opened with his first question I pulled at my sleeves self-consciously begging whoever was listening that my scars would not be seen. Luckily for me Leon saw nothing "So Arthur, I was just wondering why you've been so tired recently?" I just looked down at my hands that were folded in my lap not giving Leon an answer - what answer could I give him? He sighed as though he had never expected me to answer; I looked up at him through my fringe and met his eyes. "Please Arthur; just tell me what is wrong, so I can help you" His voice had begun to crack as he finished off his sentence. Despite how sincere Leon sounded I couldn't bring myself to believe him, no one really cares about me, not even my own father. I tore my eyes away from his and looked down once again, what could I say? That I am a disappointment to everyone I have ever met and that I let everyone down? Therefore I distance myself from people to save them from the pain. To save myself from the pain. That my father abuses me? No, I couldn't tell Leon anything.

Before I could come up with an answer for Leon I heard a loud gasp, looking up I found Leon staring at my arm with abject horror. Glancing down I saw that my sleeve had ridden up and my cuts were on display. I'm pretty sure our facial expressions were identical at that point. How could I be so stupid that I let Leon see them? "Arthur are those cuts?" I shook my head vehemently before coming up with the first lie I could think of "I fell over and grazed my wrist when I was walking home from school the other day". He shot me a disbelieving look, shit I haven't walked home this week Leon gave me a lift every night. "I don't think so Arthur" he reached out and rolled back the long, dark sleeves of my shirt, revealing the scars that lined both of my wrists a gasp escaped from Leon's mouth at the sight before him. Whereas the tears that I had been holding back for so long finally flowed down my face. "Oh Arthur why?" a solitary tear slid down Leon's face before I broke down. Curling up into the foetal position I slowly rocked myself back and forth as I sobbed. Leon's arms encircled me and pulled me close, causing me to jump; however it provided comfort so I cuddled closer and allowed him to hold me as I wept through my pain. His hand worked its way through my hair as he tried to calm me down. "Shhh, Arthur you're okay, it's fine just calm down", Eventually, my sobs slowed and I just lay there in Leon's arms as I grounded myself once again. Once I felt calm enough I separated myself from his embrace, before I could leave it completely however he grabbed my arms "why?"

"Because" hic "I am a disappointment" This statements brought the sobs back.

"Hey look at me Arthur" Leon's hand had slipped under my chin and hefted it up so my eyes met his "You are _no_t a disappointment, especially to me" I may not be a disappointment to Leon (though how could that be true?) but that didn't mean I wasn't one to everyone else I knew, everyone else I would meet for the foreseeable future. "I promise you Arthur" he sounded so sincere that I couldn't let him down by disagreeing with him therefore I met his eyes once more and nodded. "I'm so sorry Arthur but I have to go, just know that I really don't want to leave you" I nodded once more and let out a low "promise", Leon gave me one last hug and a final piece of advice. "Please Arthur go and get something to eat, for me and for you, and then go to sleep, yeah?"

"Yeah of course" I mumbled, returning Leon's hug before he left my room. True to my word around an hour after Leon left I crawled out of bed to go and get some food, even if it was last night's leftovers at least there was something in my system. Once I had eaten I wandered back to my room before collapsing straight into bed, exhausted after the emotional events that had taken place that day.

Leon's P.O.V

I really didn't want to betray Arthur's trust especially with such a large secret but I couldn't keep this to myself, not when Arthur is in so much pain. I knew what I had to do even if I really didn't want to talk to her again. Pulling my phone out of my pocket I prepared myself for the speech ahead, this is going to be some hard news to give, never mind receive over the phone. "What do you want now Leon?" was the ever so polite greeting I got. "Hey sorry to disturb you… again, but this is really, really important Morgana" I really hoped she would pick up on the tone of desperation in my voice and get the grasp of the seriousness of the situation. "What?" The reply wasn't even snapped she sounded slightly worried as though the things I had been saying about Arthur had come to the forefront of her mind. "Morgana, Arthur he… there's no easy way to say this and I'm sorry for that, but Arthur he cuts himself" A sharp gasp was all I heard on the end of the line "I'm so sorry you had to be told this way, I'm hoping you will be able to help him through as he won't talk to me. So please Morgana come back and help Arthur, your brother!"

"I'm on my way"


End file.
